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Why am I here... I have spent much too much time doing what other people want from me what others have expected of me. There comes a point where you just have to go balls to the wall and that is where I am right now. I am trying to live fearlessly. I hope you find the information I have provided funny, helpful, and makes your day brighter!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Guess I'm just a Hardcore Gurl After All

Amorous Sexcapades did not do it for me. First of all I did not know what to expect. This product is listed as a book but is described as a DVD so I was thinking it was a combo like Whipped. I was really hoping for some written erotica and a cool movie to go along with it but sadly that is not what this item was. It is only a DVD.
The packaging on Amorous Sexcapades by Playgirl DVD, distributed by Wicked Pictures is really classy. But you can not tell a book or a DVD by the cover. I so know that now. I was beyond excited when my box arrived super fast from Eden and could not wait for the house to empty out so I could watch my flick with sound, YEA!
So the house was empty and I had my current favorite toys out and was ready to go with Layaspot, Rechargeable Jack Rabbit by California Exotic and my Njoy Pure Anal Plug Medium. The DVD was in, the sound was on I was relaxed and ready to enjoy.

Did I?

Umm not so much.
First of the the music that was onscreen with the menu page was crappy instrumental and to be honest I got a bad feeling in my tummy. I got really worried. And with good reason. This DVD had absolutely no flow. There were 6 scenes with 6 very different fantasies that did not flow into each other at all. There was a lot of posing in each scene and it really got on my nerves.I kept wondering why are they covering up the money shot. I really would like to see what they are doing. But I can't tell cause the shot in in shadow. GGRRRRRR so annoying. As the DVD progresses they do begin to show more of the goodies but still it was a waste of time. I guess after all of the free porn I have been watching online I am a hardcore kinda girl.
Scene 1 Kinks and Chains was very light on the kink and the lady did not seem to be all that in charge to me

Scene 2 Cabin Fever shocking was sex in a cabin. It looked like good sex but I really could not see everything I wanted to cause the close ups were lacking.

Scene 3 Hot Rod Lover umm yeah sex on the side of a car and without audio and narration I just didn't get it. Oh yes and a cheesy light display, I have never wanted to fast forward porn more in my life.

By this point I was almost asleep and not because I had just had the biggest orgasm in my life but because I WAS BORED WATCHING PORN CAN U IMAGINE.

Scene 4 I am gonna call it auto mechanic love because I can't recall the title but it is sex with a co worker and there is actual dialogue in this one. It was by far the best sex in the DVD up to that point and woke me up.

Scene5 Watching Him Play was about sex with a rock star. There were no cheesy lights in this one and there was a touch of male dominance. It was not an original fantasy but the sex looked real so it was not too painful to view. Although they did cut the scenes with static so it appeared you were viewing what he was recording them doing on camera. LOL

Scene 6 Incandescent Love was just scary. The man was wrapped in twinkle light and then he wrapped them around her and stuck them up her vagina. Umm can you say no thank you. First of all not sanitary and secondly burn my goodies and I will hurt you in ways you never imagined. That is all I could think about while viewing this horrible scene.
I was expecting their to be dialogue throughout the scenes I was looking for romance but not cheese. I was looking for hot sex. I just hate to say it but don't buy this. I know some people don't want hardcore sex and they don't want to see everything. At times I am that way as well but this did not flow the theme was lacking I am sure you can find Amorous Sexcapades done better than this at that price point.






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Odds n Endz

  • Better Sex Essentials Toy Cleaner Antibacterial
  • Coochy® shave creme Cream by Holiday Products
  • Top Cat Moist Antibacterial Toy Wipes

Favorite Vibrators

  • Gigi by Lelo
  • Impulse Slimline Rabbit by California Exotic Novelties
  • Mia by Lelo
  • Platinum Butterflly Kiss by California Exotic Novelties
  • Rechargeable Jack by California Exotic Novelties
  • Sweet Dreams Desire by California Exotic Novelties
  • Thrusting Jack Rabbit

Favortie Dildos

  • Phallix Dichroic Glass Sex Toy
  • Pure Wand by N'Joy
  • Scrudy Strap-on dildo by Fun Factory
  • Slim Jim by haooy Valley

Anal Toys

  • Pure plug medium Butt plug by Njoy
  • Supersex anal beginners kit

My Porn Flick Collection

  • Adam & Eve Build Your Own Collection
  • Adam & Eve Presents Taboo Anal Pleasures
  • American Heros
  • Better Sex® Guide To Great Oral Sex
  • Boob-A-Licious Babes
  • Brazilian Island 3
  • Bubble Butt Angels
  • Candida Royalle Feeling It ...Not Faking It
  • Devoured
  • Fire & Ice
  • Great Sex For a Lifetime1,2
  • Guilty As Sin
  • Head of the Class
  • Hello Nurse
  • Krossing The Bar
  • Latin Fantasies by Adam & Eve
  • Love Squirts
  • Mobster's Ball 2
  • Nina Hartley's Guide To Female Ejaculation
  • O The Power Of Submission
  • Penny Flame's Expert Guide To Handjobs
  • Penny Flame's Expert Guide to Rough Sex
  • Playgirl Amorous Sexcapades
  • Private The Best of 2008
  • Puppeteer
  • Ritual
  • Sex: A Lifelong Pleasure Satisfying Him
  • Sinclair Institure 32 Ways to Please Your Lover
  • Sinclair Institute Expanding Sexual Boundaries
  • Sinclair Institute Joy of Erotic Massage Video
  • Sinclair Institute Maximizing G Spot Pleasures
  • Sinclair Institute Sexual Imagination
  • Sinclair Institute The Art of Oral Sex and The Art of Sex Positions
  • Sinclair Institute The Art of Orgasm
  • Squirt Girl DVD 4-Pack
  • Swing Time
  • Taboo Anal Pleasures
  • The 8th Day
  • The Bi Apple
  • The Contractor
  • The Mother-Load
  • The Perfect Secretary
  • The Surrender of O DVD
  • The Wicked
  • Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Anal Pleasure for Men
  • Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide To Threesomes
  • Vivid Scary Movie Double Feature

Erotic and Sensual Books

  • Anita Blake Series by Laurell K. Hamilton
  • Flesh Tones by M. J. Rose
  • Hot Sex: How To Do It - Guides to better sex by Tracey Cox
  • In Fidelity by M. J. Rose
  • Lip Service by M. J. Rose
  • Sheet Music by M. J. Rose
  • Somebody's Lover by Jasmine Haynes
  • Sookie Stackhouse Southern Vampire Series by Charlaine Harris
  • Tall, Dark and Dead by Tate Hallaway
  • The Black Dagger Series by J.R. Ward
  • The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by Anne Rice
  • The Dark Hunter Series by Sherrilyn Kenyon

Exercisers

  • Teneo Duo Vaginal Balls by Fun Factory
  • Teneo Uno Vaginal Ball by Fun Factory

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Favorite Lubes & Potions

  • Body Fluid by Fun Factory
  • Intimate Organics'™ Relaxing Massage Oil
  • Intimate Organics™ Aromatherapy Body Souffle
  • SYSTEM JO H20 Water based lubricant
  • SYSTEM JO SILICONE lubricant
  • TooTimid Pleasure Gel
  • Toy Fluid Lubricant by Fun Factory